I was accosted at the door this morning by a traveling rapper.
‘I is sellin’ fake tans, innit.’
I just couldn’t believe my eyes. An team of ugly white teenagers with bags full of fake tan products were going door-to-door selling their wares.
My one was wearing baggy, white Bench jeans, an NY top and cap, and enough bling to sink a battleship. ‘So is you want some, mate? It’s good stuff. We is sellin’ out fast, man, innit.’
‘Dressed like that, you couldn’t talk me out of a burning car let alone get me to purchase a stolen bottle of radioactive fake tan cream. Now be off with you!’
He seemed genuinely amused ‘Wha!? You is well weird, man, innit.’