Sex Education

‘You look well, Reg. Are you managing to stay of the booze?’

‘I am a bit, as it happens. Have you heard those kids over there?’ He pointed towards the teenagers that gather around the bandstand on the rec’. ‘Effing and blinding like nobody’s business. Lots of sexual swear words – stuff I haven’t heard since my army days. Some of them are only about ten and eleven years old. It makes you wonder where they pick it up, doesn’t it.’

‘School,’ I told him. ‘Or in the home. Their parents are just as bad.’

‘I blame the schools,’ he informed me. ‘Sex education for five year-olds? What the hell is that all about?’

‘Well, I imagine it’s just basic theory and anatomy. The teachers don’t provide practical demonstrations as such.’

‘It wouldn’t surprise me. The things that kids get told these days.’ He made a loud huffing sound and shook his head in mock despair.

‘You have to refer to them as “little adults”.’ I told him.

‘Mind you in my day, it was even worse, Davy. I never got told anything about the birds and the bees and that. My father took me to one side when I was thirteen and told me that the man goes on the top and the woman goes on the bottom – that was the only sex education I received.’

‘Well, it was probably sufficient, wasn’t it?’ I couldn’t help laughing.

‘Not really, Davy, no. When me and my wife got married, we spent the first five years sleeping in bunk beds.’

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