I’ve just been chatting on the phone with Nelson Galaxy; he’s been going on about how excited he is about the forthcoming release of the new Star Trek film.
The film apparently is about a young space captain who suffers from cling-ons (don’t ask me – I’m not your typical sci-fi buff, unlike our Nelson).
I had to remind him of the summer we spent on the island of Rhodes about five years ago when he came down with a bad case of the cling-ons. He was having some serious problems with his back passage, if I recall, and it was ruining his holiday.
‘Piles,’ I informed him helpfully.
He eventually went to see a Greek doctor - he could not bear the itching and soreness any longer – who did things with his finger that a grown man should never be allowed to do to another.
Cured his piles, though.