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Expanding Universe

I do not care that my television set is broken. I do not care that the picture has shrunk to the energy-saving size of a matchbox. And neither do I care that the manufacturer’s guarantee ran out last week.

Apart from The Simpsons, there is nothing worth watching anyway. Yesterday, on the local news, the constipated presenter informed me: ‘That’s it for the lunchtime bulletin. We’ll see you at six this evening when we’ll be meeting a woman who owns a shed.’

I rest my case.

Having more free time does provide for one the opportunity to explore new horizons, but my initial plan to simply ‘do more work’, may, I admit, require a little tweaking.

It’s hard being a very creative individual; you are always ‘on’. It is essential to flip the off switch occasionally, and without the mind-numbing, anodyne televisual content to which I have become accustomed to viewing in the evenings, I’m afraid I may once again be tempted by the accursed bottle to help me calm my active mind.

Yes, I know: I could read more – but it’s hard to find a book that does not inspire me in some wonderful way. Reading a well written novel is very energising and always leads to me picking up my guitar and beginning to write new songs. Besides, books? I’ve read them all.

Are You A Virgin Yet?

Don’t bother.

I for one will be switching from Virgin Media to Sky. I’ve been a customer of Virgin/NTL/Telewest for about 7 years now, and have, by and large, been fairly satisfied with their cable service – for digital TV, broadband internet and telephone.

As you may be aware, as of 1st March, Virgin dropped some BSkyB TV channels including Sky One.

I don’t watch a lot of television at all, but what I do mostly watch has been on Sky One – namely: The Simpsons, Lost and 24. Well, waddya know? …these programmes have now gone from my service. Virgin isn’t charging me any less; in fact I’m sure their rates will soon rise.

They can shove it.

I’m switching to Sky. I simply couldn’t bear to be without my daily dose of Homer. Sad, I know, but there you have it.

Both broadcasters have been accused of ‘behaving like children’ by the National Consumer Council, who may now ask for a review of the digital television market.Good.

I sincerely hope they tell Virgin Media that it can shove its miles of cable where the sun don’t shine.