Telling Teenage Fortunes


You will spill a pint of lager over someone you are trying to chat up.

Later, she will tell you that she thinks you are ‘really sweet’ but that she doesn’t want a ‘serious-type of relationship kind-of-thing.’

This is what you will tell her: ‘So do I, neither. How about a quick shag?’

You will be slapped hard in the face for the first time in your life. It will hurt.

You will begin to doubt the credibility of the ironic comment. (Especially where women are concerned.)

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